Watch Out! Black Men on Campus: A Digital Story

I decided to end my diversity journey in this class with the topic I explored at the beginning of the semester. I'm especially interested in this particular topic because being raised in South Central Los Angeles, I've seen the devastating, as well as insightful, choices Black men have made: they either decide to embark on this notion of "thug life" or explore a life that will be most beneficial to their existence. I've always posed the question, why do some young men decide one path and some decide the other, if we are all raised in the same urban surroundings? So, I decided to use my digital story as a means of attempting to answer my own question. My digital story reflects my perception of why Black men decide to attend college, what makes some prematurely leave college, what makes some continue their educational pursuits, and a brief look at education in America and it's affect on the Black community, especially Black men.

Out and About in DC: IHEP Visit

My journey into Washington, DC to visit the Institute for Higher Education Policy (IHEP) began a little shaky because I found myself lost once I exited the metro. I hadn't taken the metro in quite sometime and was quite frustrated. After a few phone calls and perplexing looks, I was able to locate the building, which was just across the street from the metro I just exited. At any rate...

Visiting the IHEP was very informative and enlightening regarding the work that this dynamic non-profit organization does. I was most shocked by the very few people that work for the organization; yet, appears to get a tremendous amount of work done as it relates to higher education. The organization is also funded by corporations, which came as a surprise to me, as well. I was even more intrigued by the work the organization does when it was mentioned that they received monies from WalMart to spearhead education initiatives, such as The WalMart Minority Student Success Initiatives. As many of my student colleagues expressed, I, too, am a bit apprehensive when I learn that WalMart is involved in something, but their contribution appears to be for a good cause. Also, to learn that Bill and Melinda Gates' foundation supports an initiative that would seek to help those individuals who are incarcerated to transition into higher education, was very encouraging. Overall, the dialogue amongst the class and the individuals who does so much good, and important, work at IHEP, solidified my desire to pursue a profession in higher education. But now I question, do I want to seek a position, in addition to teaching, in higher education research? The verdict is still out.

After our discourse with IHEP, several of my classmates and myself, decided to feed our bellies after intellectually feeding our minds. We had great conversation, great food, and I enjoyed getting to know great people. This interaction with my classmates was long overdue and I wish I had done this much sooner in the semester. These people might very well be my colleagues in the future and I am grateful to have began a relationship with my student colleagues that I hope to develop further.

And not be outdone, as I made my trek back towards my home, I found myself lost on the train and going in the opposite direction in which my home resided. What a day!!!

"Am I The Only One?" Seminar

I very much enjoyed the rich discussion surrounding multiple identities and how individuals personally navigate, and negotiate, their various identities. I especially enjoyed the personal accounts of the panel, revealing their experiences with their racial, sexual, religious, etc. identities. There was one panel member, in particular, whose story I was can personally relate to. She described the way in which she navigates between her American identity and her Saudi identity. She was eloquent in her speech and she revealed that rather than try to mesh these two identities, she comfortably treats these two idenities as separate entities, whereby while in America, she adheres to the customs, traditions, and culture, and in Saudi Arabia, she immediately puts on her Burka and is comfortable in that setting. As she spoke about her experience, I couldn't help but to think about how similar her experience is to those who are minority groups in this country. I find that as a Black woman, who was born and reared in America, I, too, have to navigate between two identities and be comfortable with it. Growing up in South Central Los Angeles, I understand that I am rare in that I not only attended college, but I am in the process of earning a PhD. My family still lives in the area and when I return home, I often visit and connect with folks I grew up with. My body language, speech, mannerisms, and overall aura, changes once I'm back home. However, once I step outside of that "culture" and enter my academic environment, or just a predominantly White environment, I then act accordingly. Again, my speech changes, my body language is different, and my mannerisms appear to be a bit more subtle. These are the two worlds that I navigate. I've had to do this in order to survive in both worlds. So, while the young lady spoke about her experience, though my family and I are American-born citizens, I still feel as though that I have to "put on" for both cultures.

After the panel spoke, we then were tasked to form small groups and identify the most optimal reaction in a given situation regarding identities and race. My group quickly identified "Assertive Accommodation" orientation being the most effective response to a sensitive situation. However, before we were able to discuss each group's selection, the fire alarm sounded and we were asked to evacuate the building. So, I immediately grabbed my things (including another rice krispy treat and lemonade) and headed towards my car.

The seminar went well and I enjoyed learning about others' lives and experiences.

White Privilege: America's Love Child

As I have mentioned in class before, I am concurrently enrolled in an Advanced Multicultural Counseling course. Most of the readings in our diversity class, intersects with the readings and discussions in my other class, often times confusing me and forcing me to question "Did I say this in this class or was it the other?" So, when the assignment was given that we had to read Peggy McIntosh's classic article, White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, rather than roll my eyes because I have read this article as an assignment for my other class, I was excited to re-embark on this journey of white privilege, and even more anxious to engage in discussion on an issue in which I have truly developed a keen interest.

When I first read McIntosh's article, I was blown away by her brutal honesty and acceptance of responsibility. Though I know white privilege isn't something that she, nor anyone that is apart of the dominant group, explicitly asked for, this ascribed privilege is something that she and those like her, have benefited from at the expense of other marginalized groups. It is my contention that white privilege was born out of the racist ideologies and practices that is not unfamiliar to this country. While it's against the law to discriminate against others based on race and to commit racial violent acts, white privilege is that "love child" that protects these racist ideologies, without blatantly admitting to it's deleterious ways in which it destroys the efforts of equality. McIntosh validated my assertions that there are advantages that some have because of their skin color, that others are not privileged to enjoy. I often hear White people say "I don't see color" or "If people work hard, they can succeed in this country." McIntosh has revealed in her own personal journey that color does matter and that merely working hard is not the prescription for success. These statements, in and of itself, are examples of privileges that those of the dominant group enjoy. As a woman, a Black woman, I wake up everyday and see my color. There is not a moment throughout the day in which the color of my skin goes unacknowledged by me, and I'm sure, by those who see me. So for me, color does matter and I see it everyday. Conversely, White people don't have to necessarily think about their "Whiteness" and whether it is a barrier in their everyday existence. Furthermore, the historical contribution of Blacks and their impact on the development of this country speaks to hard work; yet, there are still barriers that are set in place to prevent success for the descendants of these hardworkers. Now, I'm not saying that there has been no progression regarding race relations in this country. Our president, President Obama, is a testament to the strength and courage this country showed when they elected him into office. Nonetheless, during his presidency, we have seen some unprecedented actions unfold, unlike any other time in which a president took office. For instance, challenging the birthplace of the president and this adamant belief that he's not a Christian (though my personal belief is "Who cares?"). I can't help but to attribute these salacious statements to the obvious fact that our president identifies as Black. McIntosh should be commended for her courage to shine a light on a topic that has festered in, and enjoyed, the dark for so long.

In keeping with the theme of white privilege, George Mason University (GMU) also contributes to this notion of unearned privilege. I don't spend much time on campus besides attending class and the occasional visit to the JC, but I have seen how, not only white privilege, but religion, gender, and class privilege has manifested itself on this campus. I, too, have done my part in enjoying certain privileges based on specific identities. The following is a list of privileges that I assume happens and have witnessed at GMU:

1. (race/class):  assumes that those who are other than White are on financial aid

2. (race): Black males are attending GMU because they play a sport (mainly basketball)

3. (religion): the school is closed for the Christmas holiday

4. (race/class): White students expect to receive higher grades because that's what they are accustomed to

5. (race): most of my professors are White

6. (gender): most of my professors are male

7. (race): it is automatically assumed that I am the first in my family to attend college

8. (race): when the topic of race is brought up by someone who is White, most people do not roll their eyes or let out an aggravated sigh

9. (race): most people do not consider a gathering of 4 or more White people a "gang" or have gang affiliation

10. (sexual orientation): I can hold hands with my boyfriend and not be looked upon with stares or grimacing looks

11. (race/class): I am always conscious as to how I am perceived by White people (i.e. the way I dress, speak, the manner in which I shake their hand, etc.)

12. (race): I constantly think about whether decisions made about my academics had anything to do with my race

My Favorite Snack: Milk and Cookies

When the movie, Milk, first premiered back in 2008, I was eager to see it, but never found the opportunity to actually go to the movies and watch it. When the opportunity presented itself to watch the movie as one of the many events taking place at GMU for Pride Week, I decided that this would be the best chance for me to watch this seemingly powerful movie. I hadn't heard of Harvey Milk prior to the making of this movie and the only thing I knew about it was that Sean Penn had a riveting performance and won an award. With that said, I entered the Cinema with my snacks, an open-mind, and ready to be "moved" in someway. This movie certainly didn't disappoint.

The movie opens up with Sean Penn's character, Harvey Milk, having a very intimate moment with his partner: they shared a passionate kiss. While I watched for the reaction of the other viewers, I was most shocked by my initial reaction. I would consider myself an ally and an advocate for gay rights, which I firmly believe is a civil rights issue. As long as I can remember, I've been surrounded by the gay community as my mother has had several close friends who identified as LGBTQQA. I've also had close friends of my own who were apart of this group. They are apart of my life as any of my other friends who are heterosexual. However, when I saw Milk share an intimate moment with his partner, I closed my eyes and put my head down. I wasn't quite sure why I had this reaction. Here I was, looking for others to react in a way that might reveal their bias and discomfort, and I, inadvertedly, showed mine. Once I recognized it as such, I was angry with myself. It made me question whether or not I am who I say I am: an ally and advocate for the gay community. After beating myself up for awhile, I realized that I'm just a product of what I am exposed to, right or wrong. When I turn on the radio, watch television, go out to dinner, etc. I am bombarded with images of heterosexual couples sharing intimate moments. Rarely do I see homosexuals outwardly displaying such affection. But it is my fault if I do not educate myself and allow myself to feel fully comfortable with all aspects of their lives. Until then, I am not as far as I would like to be.

As the movie progressed, I enjoyed Milk's strength and tenacity to change what he deemed wrong. There was a scene in the movie where he was trying to get a magazine's endorsement for his campaign, and the editor was trying to convince Milk to remain silent and not proceed forth with his political goals. Milk stormed away from the meeting and said "I'm not just a candidate. I am a movement." That line was very powerful for me because he felt as though he represented his community and he certainly embodied that. He took on their plights, triumphs, anxiety, happiness, and worries. He was them! I really appreciated that about Milk. But yet, as we have seen in so many situations, his "movement" was cut short by an assassin's bullet and we, not just California or the gay community, but as a society, have lost a powerful voice and fixture in our quest to be a more acceptable and just country. He was not only the "Mayor of Castro Street." He should be considered the "Mayor of Every Street" because his fight for all people should be praised.

Higher Learning: Diversity in Education

It comes to no surprise to me that individuals who hold faculty positions in the world of higher education endure the challenges of diversity within their circle of academicians. One would think that at the upper echelon of education, acts of prejudice, racism, and discrimination would be minimized with the amount of literature and knowledge that surrounds these individuals daily. Yet, I find that to be part of the problem. Many people find comfort in intellectualizing the effects of racism and discrimination, but never allow themselves to explore their own behaviors, thoughts, and feelings about this issue. In Chapter 24, Talking About Race, Learning About Racism, Tatum mentioned that students are "often most interested in hearing other people talk about it, afraid to break the taboo themselves." Apparently, this is evident amongst faculty members, as well.

Chapter 21, Women of Color in Academe, highlights the struggles and challenges women of color face in living with multiple marginalities: being a woman, a woman of color, etc. It's mentioned that the literature even ignores the experience of these particular women, whereby most studies focus on women faculty and faculty of color as a separate entity, but few studies examine the experience of faculty women of color. The characteristics of being labeled or treated as a "token" not only describes the experience of some faculty women of color, but any person that is apart of a marginalized group that find themselves in the minority within a larger group. It also struck me that when several women gave their account of the experiences they have had in academia, most question whether or not they were experiencing covert acts of racism and discrimination, or were they just "trippin?" This showed me no matter how educated you are, when something doesn't feel right, we immediately look for validation to ensure that we aren't mislabeling what we are experiencing. Lastly, I was particularly interested in the section that discussed the salience of race over gender. Time and time again, I have stated that I am more aware of my race, than my gender because I feel as though my race is considered more of a hindrance, than my gender. I feel as though when I walk into a room, I am seen as a Black woman first, before I am seen as merely a woman.

Chapter 24 discussed the idea of having these difficult dialogues in the classroom surrounding the sensitive topic of race. Dr. Derald Wing Sue at Teachers College has done research related to this issue and examined the handling of this dialogue by the instructor. Ever since I've worked with Dr. Sue, this specific issue has been of particular interest to me. I was especially enlightened by the ways in which students resist to discuss racism and discrimination in the classroom. As I read this section, I couldn't help but to retort with "Hmmm Hmmm!" I've seen this very resistance unfold before my own eyes as students try their best to deal with the uncomfortableness of discussing racism. In my experience, most students of color have no problems discussing racism as they might feel that the classroom is a safe platform for them to make their points, or the only platform they have. However, I find that White students find it more difficult to discuss race and racism because they are not forced to have this conversation on a daily basis, and there's a fear of exposing their own biases. Furthermore, I am quite familiar with Helm's model of Racial Identity Development and Cross' Black Racial Identity Development. Both are wonderful tools for understanding why some may feel the way they feel regarding their race and others.

Campus Unrest: I Love Student Activism!

It couldn't have come at a better time that I post my reaction to the the readings that surrounds the topic of student protests and activism. In recent news, "Snooki" from the popular reality television show, Jersey Shore, is receiving some backlash for her recent appearance at Rutgers University. Rutgers University invited "Snooki" to engage in a lecture and Q&A session with the students, on what issue, I'm not quite sure. Though I have never seen one episode of the show, I am quite aware of "Snooki" and her embarrassing antics because she is very popular with pop culture media. I have heard her outrageous remarks and I've been horrified by her scantily clad outfits she so affectionately parades on talk shows and internet blogs. Anyway, for her appearance at Rutgers University, "Snooki" was paid a whopping $32,000. So essentially, my friend and I engaged in a discussion regarding this monetary figure and why Rutgers felt the need to invite "Snooki" to their campus. It was also revealed the monies derived from some sort of student activities account that is funded by a portion of the students' tuition. My friend and I concluded that if we were students at Rutgers, we would would have been outraged that our monies were spent on a reality television personality who clearly doesn't add any intellectual fulfillment to our educational experience. Toni Morrison, a Nobel Prize winner, revered American writer, and a distinguished professor at Princeton University, is scheduled to speak at the 2011 Rutgers Commencement and will be paid $30,000. Parents are fuming about this discrepancy of compensation, but I don't see much visible reaction from students. I concluded the conversation with my friend by posing the questions "Where are the students? Who even invited her? Why aren't the students protesting?" This was very appropriate for the articles that I read.

I enjoyed reading the article, Patriotism: A Love Story, because I had never thought of patriotism as a means of expressing "tough love" for America. In recent years, it seems as though the term "patriotic" is attached to negative feelings and perspectives. However, Dr. Jenkins has re-defined the term for me by stating as American citizens, that "loving our country enough to criticize it in hopes of making it better" is more democratic and patriotic than anything. While reading the article, I thought about the "Snooki" incident and wondered if my generation was so content and complacent that we accept the stats quo and eat what is fed to us? I told my friend that if this was the 60's, "Snooki" wouldn't have been given a first thought because students would have ignited an uproar. But has education changed so much over the decades that it has forced students into a place of conformity, rather than a means of sparking critical thinking and activism?

Rhoads' article examining student protest provided me with a complex array of emotions: shame, inspiration, pride, and nervousness. I was excited to read about the student activism that occurred in the 90's, but felt a sense of shame that the same issues that they were fighting for or against at that time, continue to exist today and we do nothing. When the noose was hung on the door of a professor at Teachers College, the students were compelled to "show up and show out." We gathered, we yelled, we marched, and we were heard. But only for a moment. Once the hype died down, we proceeded to live our normal lives as though there was no unrest. The students described in Rhoad's article were so committed to their cause, they did not eat for 14 days, or they blocked entrances of the campus so that business could not be conducted as usual. I was so inspired by the article, but I couldn't help but to utter to myself the question of "Now what?" I'm all riled up and ready to conquer the world, but apprehensive because I think I'll be the lone star. It appears as though folks aren't inspired to act unless the issue is particularly relevant to them. In Rhoad's article, it was mentioned allies of the student groups joined the protest and I feel as though people would be more apt to get involved if it was highlighted that all issues, no matter the focus, affects everyone.

I hope that my generation, and generations to come, of intellectual minds can not only approach their academics with such passion and vigor, but realize that education also happens outside the classroom, and that societal issues should be approached with the same fervor and purpose.